When something goes wrong in your in your life just yell "Plot twist" and move on
how to make a BLT
Little more bacon
Top it off with bacon
you can exercise all you want.
but you're never going to burn off crazy
stop waiting for prince Charming. Get up and find him. the poor idiot my be stuck in a tree or something
if you're confident enough every zoo is a petting zoo.
everyone thinks that a girls dream is to find the perfect guy.
Pfft please, every girls dream is to get thin by eating cupcakes
laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco
Knowledge is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it into a fruit salad.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of Chapstick
If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?